


Speak the Truth

by meyari



Category: Smallville
Genre: M/M, Panic Attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-01
Updated: 2011-06-01
Packaged: 2017-10-20 00:34:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/206911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meyari/pseuds/meyari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clark finally admits to the truth of one of his rescues of Lex, prompting things that surprise both him and Lex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Speak the Truth

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a prompt from Firefox1490

Clark gulped as Lex glared at him before whirling to stride over to his wet bar for another brandy. The questions and lies hung between them as they always did, as they always had since that first meeting on the river bank. He hated it but Clark didn't know what to do about it. What could he do? There wasn't any way he could… tell Lex everything.

Lex gulped his brandy, swallowing it down as if it were cheap beer. He set the glass down too hard, hard enough to make Clark worry that it would break. His stomach quivered at the tightness in Lex's shoulders, the way his breath wheezed through his nose. This was wrong, them being so mad at each other.

"I…" Clark's voice shook so hard that he had to stop and swallow hard before he could continue. His voice shook despite the effort to calm himself. "I caught it."

"…What?" Lex didn't turn around. His tight pose got even tighter, though this time it seemed to be excitement instead of anger.

"I caught it," Clark repeated.

His legs gave out as the shaking of his voice spread to the rest of his body and turned his knees into jelly. That made Lex whirl and stare down at Clark who had to put his head between his knees because he couldn't get any air and the world was spinning. It felt like a decade later when he felt Lex's hands on his shoulders and heard Lex's voice crooning ever so softly to him.

"Shhh, it's okay," Lex murmured to Clark. "It's okay, Clark."

"Sorry," Clark whispered.

He leaned into Lex's chest, panic battering at his heart at what Lex would do now that he knew Clark could catch bullets, that he was that fast, that strong. Invulnerable. So many things could go wrong and there was nothing that Clark could do to stop it, not when Lex was so curious and driven to figure out everything. Lex wrapped his arms around Clark and rocked him gently until the fear subsided.

"Sorry," Clark repeated once he could breathe again.

"I never realized you got panic attacks," Lex said sadly.

"Panic attacks?" Clark asked, blinking at Lex.

"That was a classic panic attack, Clark," Lex chuckled. "Fear so strong that it incapacitates you. You all but passed out."

"Oh." Clark shifted a little away from Lex and then laughed under his breath when Lex didn't let him go. "Never told anyone before. Never admitted it. The fear was too strong. I just… lied, ran away, avoided whoever had asked."

To Clark's surprise, Lex's lips pressed against his forehead in a kiss that felt twice as special as any of Mom's when he'd freaked out about something. Clark blushed and let Lex hold him. They sat in silence until Lex shifted his legs as if they were falling asleep, then Clark pulled away properly. When he looked at the clock a half hour had passed. It didn't feel like anywhere near that long.

"I'm sorry, Clark," Lex said, one hand resting on Clark's elbow. "I never realized…"

"I never could tell you," Clark said and shrugged while smiling ruefully. "How could you realize?"

"Lionel…" Lex's voice trailed off. His eyes were full of calculations, worries, and fears or maybe they were Clark's fears reflected in Lex's eyes.

"Scares me," Clark nodded. "He'd… take me apart to figure me out."

Lex went white as his lips thinned so far that they disappeared into a line slashed across his face. He closed his eyes and held up one hand to keep Clark from saying anything else. Air whistled through his nose for a long moment. When he opened his eyes, Lex had his 'determined to fix it' expression on.

"Don't tell me anything else," Lex said as he stood. He shook his right foot as if it were asleep, gratefully accepting Clark's offered hand to keep his balance. "Not another word. I have… some things I need to do, to destroy, and then we'll figure out how to keep my father from bothering you."

"Um, destroy?" Clark asked.

"I… kept some files and… things… associated with you, with the strange events that have happened in Smallville," Lex admitted as reluctantly as Clark had admitted to catching the bullet. "My father could use them against you and I won't allow him to do that. I never want to be the cause of you being afraid or hurt, Clark."

"So you'll just destroy them?" Clark asked, more than slightly stunned. "You've been collecting them how long, since you met me? And you'll just destroy it all? For me?"

Lex nodded as if that made total sense. For a long moment Clark stared at Lex while trying to work out exactly how that was a rational path of action in anyone's mind before giving up and laughing. His laughter made Lex cock his head curiously, but his eyes smiled at Clark.

"I will never figure you out," Clark told Lex.

"And I'll never figure you out," Lex said.

The words sounded like a promise, an apology, and an offer of protection. Lex held his hand out to Clark. His fingertips shook ever so slightly, which was more fear than Clark had ever seen Lex display before. That tremor felt as significant to Clark as his panic attack had to Lex so Clark took Lex's hand and pulled him into a hug that drove the air out of Lex's lungs even though Clark was gentle.

"Thank you for being my friend, Lex," Clark murmured into Lex's ear.

Lex relaxed into the hug and wrapped his arms around Clark. "Thank you, Clark."


End file.
